The bestselling, award-winning author of The Radleys is back with his funniest, most devastating dark comedy yet, a “silly, sad, suspenseful, and soulful” (Philadelphia Inquirer) novel that’s “full of heart” (Entertainment Weekly).When an extra-terrestrial visitor arrives on Earth, his first impressions of the human species are less than positive. Taking the form of Professor Andrew Martin, a prominent mathematician at Cambridge University, the visitor is eager to complete the gruesome task assigned him and hurry home to his own utopian planet, where everyone is omniscient and immortal.He is disgusted by the way humans look, what they eat, their capacity for murder and war, and is equally baffled by the concepts of love and family. But as time goes on, he starts to realize there may be more to this strange species than he had thought. Disguised as Martin, he drinks wine, reads poetry, develops an ear for rock music, and a taste for peanut butter. Slowly, unexpectedly, he forges bonds with Martin’s family. He begins to see hope and beauty in the humans’ imperfection, and begins to question the very mission that brought him there. Praised by The New York Times as a “novelist of great seriousness and talent,” author Matt Haig delivers an unlikely story about human nature and the joy found in the messiness of life on Earth. The Humans is a funny, compulsively readable tale that playfully and movingly explores the ultimate subject—ourselves.

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Just about everyone knows a family like the Radleys. Many of us grew up next door to one. They are a modern family, averagely content, averagely dysfunctional, living in a staid and quiet suburban English town. Peter is an overworked doctor whose wife, Helen, has become increasingly remote and uncommunicative. Rowan, their teenage son, is being bullied at school, and their anemic daughter, Clara, has recently become a vegan. They are typical, that is, save for one devastating exception: Peter and Helen are vampires and have—for seventeen years—been abstaining by choice from a life of chasing blood in the hope that their children could live normal lives. One night, Clara finds herself driven to commit a shocking—and disturbingly satisfying—act of violence, and her parents are forced to explain their history of shadows and lies. A police investigation is launched that uncovers a richness of vampire history heretofore unknown to the general public. And when the malevolent and alluring Uncle Will, a practicing vampire, arrives to throw the police off Clara’s trail, he winds up throwing the whole house into temptation and turmoil and unleashing a host of dark secrets that threaten the Radleys’ marriage. The Radleys is a moving, thrilling, and radiant domestic novel that explores with daring the lengths a parent will go to protect a child, what it costs you to deny your identity, the undeniable appeal of sin, and the everlasting, iridescent bonds of family love. Read it and ask what we grow into when we grow up, and what we gain—and lose—when we deny our appetites.

The bestselling, award-winning author of The Radleys is back with what may be his best, funniest, and most devastating dark comedy yet. When an extraterrestrial visitor arrives on Earth, his first impressions of the human species are less than positive. Taking the form of Professor Andrew Martin, a prominent mathematician atCambridge University, the visitor is eager to complete the gruesome task assigned him and hurry back home to the utopian world of his own planet, where everyone enjoys immortality and infinite knowledge.He is disgusted by the way humans look, what they eat, and their capacity for murder and war, and he is equally baffled by the concepts of love and family. But as time goes on, he starts to realize there may be more to this weird species than he has been led to believe. Disguised as Martin, he drinks wine, reads poetry, and develops an ear for rock music and a taste for peanut butter. Slowly, unexpectedly, he forges bonds with Martin’s family, and in picking up the pieces of the professor’s shattered personal life, he begins to see hope and beauty in the humans’ imperfections and to question the mission that brought him here.Praised by The New York Times as a “novelist of great seriousness and talent,” Matt Haig delivers an unlikely story about human nature and the joy found in the messiness of life on Earth. The Humans is a funny, compulsively readable tale that playfully and movingly explores the ultimate subject—ourselves.

DO YOU A) Know a human? B) Love a human? C) Have trouble dealing with humans?\nIF YOU'VE ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU\nWhether you are planning a high level of human interaction or just a casual visit to the planet, this user-guide to the human race will help you translate their sayings, understand exotic concepts such as 'democracy' and 'sofas', and make sense of their habits and bizarre customs.\nA phrase book, a dictionary and a survival guide, this book unravels all the oddness, idiosyncrasies and wonder of the species, allowing everyone to make the most of their time on Earth.

Regarding Humans Unfavorably Upon Arriving On Earth, A Reluctant Extraterrestrial Assumes The Identity Of A Cambridge Mathematician Before Realizing That There's More To The Human Race Than He Suspected. Matt Haig. A Novel--jacket. Originally Published In Great Britain In 2013 By Canongate Books--title Page Verso. Includes Bibliographical References And Index.

The Radleys are an everyday family who juggle dysfunctional lives. Except, as Peter and Helen Radley know, but their children have yet to find out, the Radleys happen to be a family of abstaining vampires. When one night Clara finds herself driven to commit a bloodthirsty act, her parents decide to explain a few things.

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Midnight Library."Destined to become a modern classic." —Entertainment WeeklyWHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FEEL TRULY ALIVE?At the age of 24, Matt Haig's world caved in. He could see no way to go on living. This is the true story of how he came through crisis, triumphed over an illness that almost destroyed him and learned to live again.A moving, funny and joyous exploration of how to live better, love better and feel more alive, Reasons to Stay Alive is more than a memoir. It is a book about making the most of your time on earth."I wrote this book because the oldest clichés remain the truest. Time heals. The bottom of the valley never provides the clearest view. The tunnel does have light at the end of it, even if we haven't been able to see it . . . Words, just sometimes, really can set you free."

An original and fun first novel destined for cult success.Meet the Hunters: Adam, a teacher, his wife Kate, and their teenage children Hal and Charlotte. But it is Prince, the family’s black Labrador, who is the narrator and protagonist of this tale.An earnest young dog, Prince strives hard to live up to the tenets of the Labrador Pact: “Duty Over All” — that duty being to serve and protect their Family at any cost. Other dogs, led by the Springer Spaniels, have revolted. (Their slogans are “Dogs for Dogs, not for Humans” and “Pleasure not Duty.”) Prince takes his responsibilities seriously, but as things begin to go awry in the Hunter family, they threaten to overwhelm him. It all starts when a new couple moves into the house overlooking the park. Soon Adam is besotted with Emily, while her husband Simon seems to have played a significant part in Kate’s past. Young Hal is tripping on acid with his rowdy friends, while Charlotte is having boyfriend problems and tries to end it all with an overdose. And down in the park, it’s even worse: Henry the elderly Lab has disappeared; Emily’s dog Falstaff wants to lead Prince astray; has Lear the Rottweiler killed Joyce the Irish Wolfhound? In the end, Prince is forced to break the Labrador Pact and take desperate action to save his Family.The Last Family in England is funny, sad, quirky and — incidentally — a clever reworking of Henry IV Part II.

The story of a family in crisis and the loyal dog that holds them together, from the author of How To Stop Time and Reasons to Stay Alive."Matt Haig has an empathy for the human condition, the light and the dark of it, and he uses the full palette to build his excellent stories." —Neil Gaiman, author of American GodsMeet Prince, the canine narrator of this tragi-comic tale of family life. As with all Labradors, he has devoted his entire existence to preserving the happiness and security of his human masters. Not that his human masters realise this, of course. After all, when the Hunter family rescued him, they had no idea that they were the ones who were really being saved. But as events unfold Prince realises he’s got his work cut out. The trouble is that while he has no problem in remembering his duty, the Hunters themselves seem to have greater difficulty remembering theirs. Of particular concern is Adam Hunter, who forgets his responsibilities as a father and husband when he becomes sexually attracted to a young and flirtatious aromatherapist. Then there’s Kate, Adam’s wife. As Prince watches her increasingly neurotic behaviour he detects something is wrong and decides to sniff out the source of the trouble. What he eventually discovers is a treacherous secret that could tear Adam, Kate, and their two children apart.The Labrador Pact explores the hidden dangers of family life from the perspective of the only family member who gets to see everything – the knee-high, four-legged observer in the corner of the room. Through Prince’s eyes (and nose) we come to realise the secrets which hold families together and which, once dug up, can lead to their destruction.

A ghost story with a twist-a suspenseful and poignantly funny update of Hamlet, from Matt Haig, the author of How To Stop Time."Matt Haig has an empathy for the human condition, the light and the dark of it, and he uses the full palette to build his excellent stories." —Neil Gaiman, author of American Gods A triumph of originality and humor, this clever novel by British author Matt Haig gives us Hamlet redux with an unforgettable voice all his own. When eleven-year-old Philip Noble is confronted by the ghost of his recently deceased father and asked to avenge his death, the boy finds himself in a thorny dilemma. Revenge, after all, is a tricky business-especially when Philip is already distracted by his girlfriend, school bullies, self-doubt, and all the other challenges of adolescence. Viewing the adult world through the eyes of a young boy, The Dead Fathers Club is a brilliant, quirky take on a classic tale.

By the author of Reasons to Stay Alive Terence Cave, the intellectual owner of Cave Antiques, has already experienced the tragedies of his mother's suicide and his wife's murder when his teenage son, Reuben, is killed in a grotesque accident. His remaining child, Bryony, has always been the family's golden girl, in love with her cello and her pony, and Terence comes to realise that his one duty in life is to protect her from the world's malign forces, whatever that may take. But as he starts to follow his grieving daughter's movements and enforce a draconian set of rules, his love for Bryony becomes a possessive force that leads to destruction and, ultimately, murder.